On The RAEdar

http://naturalsoulhippiesis.tumblr.com 

*previously known as raechardonnay.tumblr.com*

I will be producing a documentary regarding this subject. If you are interested in participating please let me know. All video footage will be recorded in Chicago but if you would like to add to the written piece let me know.

To qualify for participation:

1. All views and opinions expressed must be primarily based off first hand experiences. 
2. Female, with or without a positive father figure or male mentor/role model.
3. Male, who have dealt first hand with females without father figures

*disclaimer* The portion below is a generalization and not necessarily MY direct opinion. You will have the opportunity to speak your piece/peace on camera or by writing me. You will be required to fill out a release form to be recorded. Your written piece may or may not be considered a work-for-hire. You will be made aware upon submission.

I feel that often times we as women- older and younger- have misconstrued views of what a man is supposed to be in our lives. How they are supposed to treat us. How they are supposed to make us feel.  Many of us grow up without father figures which has been said to play a large part in how we respond to the male being in a number of settings, particularly intimate relationships.

But of course we are not at fault for those-more than likely- unforeseen circumstances. So why do we “blame” the men we come in contact with for something WE didn’t even have control over?

Do we feel that its our male counterparts responsibility to pick up where daddy left off?

“My daddy wasn’t around, so I need attention from whatever man is willing to give it”

Why do we fall so quickly for a man that will look at us “the right way” and just knows all the “right” things to say?  

At the absence of a positive male being while growing up, what did we miss out on that we are now looking for in what is probably a dead end relationship, casual sex, or even those of us who have strictly platonic (or so we think) friendships?…

Even better… how do men-older and younger- feel about women who have been left to grow up without the positive father figure?? 

I came across this forum that was obviously for men only and some of the responses to a question along the lines of the one above, and I have to say that I was honestly responded by some of the responses. *See Below*

In my experience, women who have not had a positive father figure tend to be total attention wh0res around men. They are craving masculine attention and will stop at nothing to get it. They also have some anger issues towards men and will likely take them out on you. You will find yourself fighting the battles that the girl’s father should have fought with her throughout her childhood and adolescence.
However, I have met women who did not know their father, but did have a strong masculine figure in their lives. One had a good grandfather that spent a lot of time with her, for another it was a minister. Neither of these women had significant issues in their dealings with men, and now live very stable lives and are happily married.
Just keep your eyes and ears open for any indication that she may resemble the former, rather than the latter.

Yep, women who have had a weak, drunk, abusive, absent, divorced or NO father are not suitable candidates for a wife or G/f.
However the bad news just gets worse because their mother is also frequently just as pathological in complimentary ways.
So that hottie who tells you that she had no daddy also had no mommy worth a damn..

The two above quotes are some of the most disturbing that were listed but don’t get upset ladies… not all of the men felt this strongly.  Have we as women set ourselves up to not be granted the opportunity at a successful relationship due to our response to the male counterpart? Are we supposed to accept responsibility for the absence of a positively influential man as young children?…

Something to think about…

Black Music Month… I’m not doing anything differently though. I constantly celebrate the beauty of Black Music, always reflecting on the Greats who created the music I love today, listening to and passing on to the younger generation (my little brother and cousins) the music that matters as I can, acknowledging pioneers that are still very relevant today and still creating great music…If I tried to list all of the people I’m referring to, ya’ll might think I’ve lost my mind.

I have to remind myself not to treat Black Music Month as just a celebration of history but also acknowledge some of the music of today. BUT this is very hard for me considering a lot of the representation fro Black Music being presented. I have a SERIOUS issue with a lot of the music thats being released via radio as well as other mediums as I’m sure tons of people do. I could talk about and write about this topic for hours, days… but I won’t do that to ya’ll. Maybe one day I’ll vent to you guys about this issue…This post wasn’t even supposed to be this long to be honest! LOL…If you or anyone in your town/community/city is doing anything differently to celebrate Black Music Month let me know. I’d love to hear about it!

through some of my followers pages… Ya’ll are dope! lol… We have similar music tastes so I really hope you all enjoy the things I post and check the musicians/artists out because nine times out ten they are people who are truly talented and in my opinion aren’t getting enough recognition. PEACE

Rae Chardonnay

Thank you all for following! Hope you find something that tickles your fancy as I post more :)